The Answer is still No

“Is #2 son sleeping through the night?” That is the question I receive on a daily basis. I don’t understand why they continue to ask, the bags under my eyes should provide enough evidence that no, he is not sleeping through the night. I know he’s 8 months old, I know he “should” be sleeping through (according to whichever baby guru you read), I know a lot of it is habit. But at 1am (or 3am or whatever time it is where the sky is still dark) I go with the path of least resistance to get him back to sleep. I am a zombie. I have needed eight straight hours of sleep since day one. I have not gotten that in about 17 months, because I had severe insomnia during my pregnancy with #2.

I could lie to those asking the question and just say yes, but I think this is a disservice to those that ask who don’t have kids yet. Child rearing is not all sunshine, roses and puppy dogs. It’s a poop filled, puked on, crying jag mess at times and pontificating to the child free on the wonders of children isn’t fair to them. So I am prepared to say “No, he doesn’t sleep and I feel like crap” for the next 18 years, until he goes to college.

Advertisements

Growing Pains, all Around

#1 son is going through a serious growth spurt. His legs ache, he’s sleeping in, he’s eating us out of house and home. All of the tell tail signs. One sign we were not prepared for was the emotional drama of a growth spurt. He’s normally not a big crier, but as his limbs have grown, the tears have flowed. The other night he was crying that he was going to run away and live on the sidewalk in front of our house. (I had to stifle my giggle) My non-snuggler has been clinging to me. Normally I drop him off at school and he runs to play with his buddies. Not the past week. He’s stood there, tears streaming down his face yelling, “Please don’t go.” Yeah, that makes me feel like Mother of the Year. After talking with moms of older kids, this appears to be pretty normal, growing takes an emotional toll on kids as well. I naively thought that by having two boys and no girls I had avoided all of these histrionics. Nope, wrong again.

Abandoned at 32 years old

My parents have talked for a couple of years about moving when my dad retires. They’ve stopped in towns that looked interesting while they were on travel, tried a few weekend getaways in some other areas and had an ongoing dialogue about where they may move. The end result was always the same, they won’t move until my dad actually retires because he travels so much during the week and ultimately they’ll probably stay right where they are now. They have lived in the same town for 24 years have made long term friends and are involved in different organizations. Though they say they never do anything, though the reality is that they are hardly ever home. I fear that they have unrealistic expectations of a social life. Moving at this stage in their lives brings about obstacles, they no longer have small children like they did when they last moved 24 years ago, which are a great way to meet new people in a strange town. Their new neighborhood could be filled with young families (they won’t do any research of the neighborhood, I’m sure), who won’t be eager to have my parents over for happy hour.

So earlier this week at 8am I get a surprise phone call, my parents have bought a house in Florida. WTF? They went to visit friends in Ormond Beach, Fl. I knew they would look at real estate while there and assumed they would come back from this visit eager to go back and get a better feel for the town. WRONG. On day 2 they found a great house and started the buying process. This sounds like a horrible idea for the following reasons:

1. They know very little about the town, how about looking into that a little more? Are there activities and groups for them to involve themselves in? Where’s the grocery store? Who knows, who cares apparently.

2. They didn’t want to live in a beach area and deal with the added insurance and hurricane headache. The new house is 2 blocks from the beach.

3. We are in the DC suburbs with their only grandchildren. My mom keeps saying things about us coming to visit and how they’re close to lots of things and will have a backyard pool. That’s great but it’s not like they bought a place in Rehoboth. Driving 12 hours to access their pool is not really appealing. They see our kids almost weekly now, and complain when more than two weeks go by without visiting. They need to get ready for annual visits at best.

4. They’re just going to get older, now with no family nearby to help. Right now they are an hour away from my family. If they were moving near my brother in SC I would understand that more. My mom complains about my grandmother being so far away now, so what do my parents do? Perpetuate this cycle.

The whole thing is rash and my parents have been making similar decisions for a while now, then regretting the decision. Case in point. My mother decides to buy a Hybrid on the fly and drives straight to the dealership. They don’t have the exact vehicle she wants, so instead of ordering what she wants and waiting a couple of months like a normal person, she buys what they have and then has them replace everything on it (switching out the entire interior, retroactively adding the GPS, etc) What? She now regrets that and says she should have waited.

I admit to researching everything before buying, but TH and I rarely have regrets because of this. It’s one thing to regret a vehicle purchase, but to regret an enormous life change is something else entirely. Luckily, while they have bought the house they do have about 18 months before dad retires, so it can be like a long engagement before they make the final commitment to leave their current lives behind. Thinking I was overreacting to a degree (I do that sometimes), I called my brother and asked for his opinion. He agrees that this too quick of a decision and is worried that they will have regrets. We both agree that my parents have the right to retire wherever they want, they’ve worked hard and been very selfless. But an educated decision would make us all feel better.

Realistically I am an almost 32 year old woman with kids, a husband, career and house. But my inner four year old feels abandoned. I have a small family and they will have all moved away.

You know you are an adult when

You have a new mulcher/chipper sitting in your garage, and you can’t wait for the weekend to come so you can open the box and give it a try. Honestly, TH will be doing the bulk of the chipping/mulching but I am a little excited to put it to use as well. #1 son is also eager, but anything that shows up in a large box garners his attention.

Alex Oveckin brings tears to our household

I have mentioned The Husband’s rabid fanaticism for hockey. He has corrupted #1son as well, so today they’re off to development camp for the Washington Caps at Kettler. Be still my beating heart. #1 son has had his Ovechkin jersey on for hours now and in order to eliminate tears once they arrive at camp, TH decided to let #1 know now that Ovechkin, Mike Green, etc won’t be at camp, and that Ovechkin is not even in town. Being almost five years old (and male) #1 heard only part of the conversation and his eyes started welling. He heard “Ovechkin is gone.” With a trembling lip he cried “I don’t want Ovechkin to leave.”

We had to quickly calm him down and explain (again) that Ovechkin is only on vacation and visiting his mom and dad in Russia, but he’ll be back in a month or so. With a new understanding of the situation, #1 calmed down and resumed his imitation of a hockey player, complete with police riot helmet. (He doesn’t have an actual hockey helmet, so he uses the riot helmet from his dress up clothes collection) I thought I had a little more time before there was crying over Ovechkin and fully expected it to come from The Husband when the Caps push for The Cup in the coming years. The love for Mr. Ovechkin runs deep in our household.

My poor neglected toes

I have never been good at going in for regular hair appointments, split ends are my calling card. But, I have been much better about keeping my feet in shape, especially during sandal season. That is until this season. Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way of pedicure appointments, even the do it yourself variety, which aren’t as much fun anyway. I had been hiding my feet in closed toe shoes, but this week the closed toe shoes went into the back of the closet and the sandals came out, naked toes be damned.

Now my toes are not completely gnarly; my nails are trimmed and clean, but Holy Dry Heels Batman. Yikes. I guess I hadn’t taken a really good look lately. I think I need to move self preservation to the top of my to do list, if I could train #1 son to work a pumice stone I would be in business.

Wipe Out

I knew I would be exhausted with a second child. I knew keeping up with an infant and preschooler would be tough. I also knew that I was not guaranteed a good sleeper the second time, I had been incredibly spoiled with #1 son. But dear God, the level of exhaustion I and TH feel is nothing we have ever felt before. Not only does #2 son think he does not need sleep, but when he does crash he is often up at 5am (or earlier) for the day. We keep reminding #2 that his saving grace is his cuteness, or else he would be put up on Ebay (though it would probably be pulled from auction, like used underwear).

There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a torture method, it is awful. It causes the most cheerful couple to snap at one another and give The Look. There are many mornings I feel hungover only to remember that I had nothing with alcohol the day before. A new guy at work keeps whining how tired he is (he has a newborn) and looking to me for sympathy. Ha, wrong audience mister. TH and I keep reminding each other that this too shall pass (like when the kids go to college in 14 and 18 years respectively) but some days that thought is difficult to remember.

If He Really Loved Me

I have a feeling that The Husband really doesn’t care about me, or our kids. I have been trying to help him find a job and he has turned down the last 3 suggestions I made. He won’t even submit a resume which I find incredibly selfish. His argument is 1. he has a well paying job thank you very much and 2. I keep suggesting things that could get him killed. Eh, the life insurance is paid up.

Since it’s summer and we’re in reality TV hell we keep watching shows that while dangerous appear to generate a lot of money in a relatively short amount of time. The first thing he rejected was being a crab fisherman, a la Deadliest Catch. Apparently braving the Bering Sea and beating ice off a fishing boat don’t interest him. The second job was being a coal miner in WVa (we saw this on 30 Days). Aside from the obvious (living in WVa) he moaned about a cave in or black lung (I would put him in an iron lung if necessary.) He also bemoaned the fact that the annual salary wasn’t that high. I retorted that in WVa it is, which leads us back to reason #1 for not being a coal miner. Third in line was driving the ice road in Canada. (Ice Road Truckers) He actually gave me no specific reason; he just glared at me and said “Fuck no.” He’d only need to work 8 WEEKS and then he could eat all of the bons bons he wanted. So, the ice is only about 28 inches thick and cracks all along the way, he most likely would be fine. Where is his sense of adventure, his drive to support his family? I guess I still need to check out Black Gold.